Reader Questions – Part 1

Since I’m in Canada for a few weeks and I’m lacking Jamaica stuff to write about I thought I’d turn it over to my readers to give me something to write about.  I asked the fans in my FACEBOOK GROUP to ask me any question and I would answer in a blog post.  So here’s the first installment.  If you missed your chance to ask this time and we like doing this there will be a next time!  Please keep in mind these answers are ONLY my opinion and may be serious or comical answers.

Q:  Most Jamaican men I know prefer older women… Why is this so or do u disagree?

A:  I agree.  I’ve asked this question to many 20 year old Jamaicans who try to impose their swag on me and the one thing they ALL said is “it’s a big ooman ting”.  In my opinion this means that we have our sh*t together and have jobs and money and would be able to support them and teach them the ways of life.  For me, I have a 19 year old son and have already done my job in that department.

Q:  Are any of your artiste friends sharing their thoughts with you about the ‘Man Down’ video by Rihanna?  Curious to know how music folks on the ground feel.

A:  Unfortunately I was back in Canada already when this hype started and I haven’t had the opportunity to ask any of them.  Your question made me watch the video though and I have my own opinions about it.  People seem to be hyped up on the fact that this video makes Jamaica look bad, when in fact it only makes abusive men look bad.  Maybe the female who was abused and couldn’t control her urge to kill looked bad too BUT none of us can predict how we’d act in the same situation until it has happened to us.

I think that more than casting a negative light on Jamaica, it actually brings back the old argument “to dagga or not to dagga”.  Provocative dancing goes on throughout the Caribbean and in MANY other countries and the question should be “can people go to a party, have fun and dance that way and then just go the hell home without any expectations?”  And one great question a friend of mine posed about the video is “why is everyone doing the Bogle?”  LOL.

Q:  What did you expect when you decided to become a resident of Jamaica and not a regular visitor?

A:  I won’t lie…..I expected all my plans to work out the way I’d envisioned for so long.  I thought I would go there and execute everything the way it was in my head when in reality a LOT of unexpected things were thrown my way that I didn’t plan for.  I expected it to be a dream come true but the reality was that I had to fight to survive and now that I’m gearing up for round two I know what NOT to do.  I keep crying to my mom that I am a miserable failure but she calls it a learning experience that prepared me for the real test…..when I get back in a few weeks.

Q:  What do you do to get out of a funk when you second guess (or third or fourth…lol) your decision to move to Jamaica…what inspires you to stay?

A:  I do a lot of things.  First I remember the original, REAL reason I went there in the first place…..I friggin love the country!  No matter how bad things seemed in the first two months it’s still easier being in Jamaica in a bad mood.  Every morning people walk by my gate or through my yard and greet me with a smile and a good morning – something that stuffy-rush-hour Canadians don’t do.  That might sound small but believe me it’s a BIG thing in my world.  I used to ride the same train to work in Canada every day for ten years and maybe one person per month would smile.

What inspires me to stay and struggle and try again is that I know I didn’t accomplish what I went there for.  I’m not finished and I’m convinced I can make a strong comeback.

The best thing I ever did for myself when trying to make the decision to make this move is “just do it”.  I could have sat around forever being afraid to give my notice at work and walk away from job security.  So I wrote the resignation, made my coworker hit the “send” button and that was it.  I’m still young and smart so if I need to come back and get a job down the road, I can.

Q:  When you’re approached by a Jamaican man and he shows an interest in you, what runs through your mind?  Does he like me for me or for what I can offer/do for him?

A:  Again I can’t lie, that’s exactly what runs through my mind.  In eight years only a small handful of dudes (like 3, LOL)  have actually asked me out like a proper man should, bought me a drink or dinner.  Someone needs to tell them that calling me a phat p***y gyal as a pick up line isn’t flattering.   The best one though, is the hissing in the street.  I’ve actually started answering that call and will stop to ask them what’s their success rate.  I would like to sit on the street with one of them and do a scientific study on the number of times they hiss compared to the number of girls they actually get.  Or I just hiss back and keep walking.

In all honesty I’m a fun person who will talk to anyone so when a guy tries to talk to me I’ll talk.  But when he asks for my number I say no.  When he offers to give me his number I tell him I’m not going to call it so there’s no point.  If he asks me to buy him something I ask him to man up and buy me something.  This sort of conversation breaks the ice and we laugh and I go on my way.

Q:  Is there enough to see/do in the Port Antonio area to make it a destination for a week?

A:  I think it depends what kind of vacationer you are.  If you like nature and eco-tourism there’s definitely enough to do for a whole week!  If you like the club scene I don’t think Port Antonio is for you.  I have only stayed there for two nights and was disappointed with things to do after dark.  But in the day there was so much to see and do….endless beaches, scenery, awesome places to eat, etc.  And if you play your cards right and drive without a seatbelt you can spend a good amount of time on the side of the road with police!  Only in Port Antonio!

Q:  Why are so many Jamaican men and women unmarried?  Or never been married but have full families with adult children?

A:  Of course this answer is complete speculation on my part because I don’t actually know why.  Maybe they’re the lucky ones who don’t buy into the piece of paper it takes to keep a couple together.  Jamaica’s a totally different culture than North America or other countries who throw $20,000 weddings thinking it shows the world how great their relationship is.  I don’t really know the answer to this one but I do know some couples with grown kids there who’ve been together for eons….maybe it would be nice if I ask when I get back.  🙂

Q:  What was/is the biggest challenge you face adapting from vacationer to resident?

A:  No steady paycheck….straight up.  Second biggest challenge is being treated like a foreigner (money-wise).  I will always be a foreigner in Jamaica and unless they know me personally there will always be dollar signs attached to me.  Third is loneliness.  Yes I have a lot of friends in my community and always have something to do or somewhere to go but it’s just different.  You can never be certain why some people are your friends or if they have your best interests at heart, but I KNOW my long time friends from back home would have my back no matter what.

Over time things change and you learn who will help you and who won’t, you learn who your real friends are – sometimes the learning comes from major fallouts that repair themselves.  You learn who respects you and who just hangs around out of convenience.

I just have to add a couple funny things to the end here LOL.  There are so many terms in Jamaica that mean something completely different from what they would mean back home and I have some favorites.  If someone in Jamaica tells you they got licked, feel sorry for them…not jealous!  And don’t tell people you’re a bitch because it’s not the same thing there.  😀

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